I have always had a passion for fitness, as a child sport was everything to me. Running, swimming, dance, gymnastics, tennis, squash; I did it all and loved it all. Sport and fitness gave me a buzz, and I thrived on the sense of achievement.
I grew up in a beautiful family, extremely loved and always supported. Then at the age of 16 a traumatic event, one I still struggle to talk about, left me feeling numb for many years to come. Trauma manifests itself differently in everyone; for me, it had the most effect on my body image, and I no longer felt comfortable in my own body. Food and the denial of it became a form of control, and I continually punished my body with misplaced self-loathing. It took until I knocked on death’s door to accept help and begin to heal my body and mind and value myself again.
Time passed, and I was finally out of that dark place, but my debilitating relationship with food continued for years to come. Married to a gentle, hard-working man, we had four beautiful children, and I loved being a wife and mother. Despite so much love, somewhere along the way I had lost my identity. I was so busy being a wife and mother that I no longer did anything for me, not even my sport. I found it tough to acknowledge my self-worth and continually struggled with food and loathed how I looked and felt. While I’ve always been small, and my active lifestyle helped me maintain a slim figure, I became what I like to refer to as “skinny fat”.
It took a serious incident to jolt me back on to my health and fitness journey. It was time to step things up for myself and my family. I wanted to show up better for my children and lead by example. I wanted more out of life, and I deserved more.
My journey started with what I knew best, running. In no time, I was running marathons and competing in endurance events again. I loved every minute of it and began training more and more. During these ever-increasing long hours of endurance training, I realised that not only was this was unsustainable, but I still didn’t I like how I looked. I was super fit, but I was shapeless. I went in search of more effective and efficient ways of training, and I discovered FIRE. Focused Intense Resistance Exercise, and it changed my life.
I wasn’t over-weight, but I still wanted to lose fat and build muscle. I wanted shape, but most of all I wanted to feel strong. It’s surprisingly hard to lose fat when there isn’t much to begin with, and gaining lean muscle requires the same effort no matter your body size and shape. So, my journey was not as easy as it might appear.
Transformations don’t happen overnight. There is no magic pill, it takes consistency, hard work and some sacrifices. I started to respect my body and understand its mechanics again. I looked at food as fuel and accepted that I needed to fuel my body instead of depriving it if I was to become leaner and stronger. This was my turning point. I could heal myself, physically, mentally, and emotionally through nutrition. I ditched the scale, took the focus off my weight, and focused on how I functioned and felt.
It didn’t take me long to fall in love with the feeling of a good weightlifting session. With lots of constantly varied weights lifted at high intensity, I gradually built muscle. The physical changes were exciting, but the feeling of being powerful and strong was life-changing. The ability to lift heavier each week was so empowering. I lifted a 20kg barbell in my first session, and now I can deadlift over 130kg. Lifting heavier made me feel totally badass, unstoppable, and beautiful.
In the first 12 weeks of my transformation, I gained about 4kg, all of which was muscle. In the past, if someone had told me that I would gain weight when I started, I probably would have never begun, but now I was mentally ready to change my life. This was for me, not a loved one or a special event, and anyway, not all victories are won on the scale. I halved the amount of fat I was carrying, and more than doubled my strength, but most importantly, I liked the toned reflection staring back at me in the mirror. “Strong, not skinny”.
The key to staying on track is effective planning. I go into each week knowing exactly what I’m going to eat and when I will be exercising. I developed a sustainable lifestyle that I am still living to this day, more than eight years on. My life is so much better without extremes or deprivation; I have no desire to go back to the all-or-nothing approach. Being strong, fit and in control is an amazing feeling. I can cope with anything thrown at me, and my lifestyle allows me to live my life to its full potential. Don’t get me wrong; I am not perfect; perfection is unattainable and unsustainable. This journey will never be linear, I have good days and bad days, but that’s okay.
I’m proud to be much healthier and stronger at 53 than I was at 35, and I have gained so much confidence throughout this process. Every woman deserves to feel strong and confident. I believe in setting and achieving goals, but please remember, it takes time to reverse years of unhealthy lifestyle choices. It took me over eight years to get to where I am today, and I still strive to meet new goals. As for motivation, my goals are the only motivation I need, and when I look back and see how far I’ve come, that continues to push me forward.
No matter how busy I am, I commit to my healthy lifestyle every day. The small choices made each day add up to profound change. Don’t let excuses get in the way of your goals.
Progress requires repeated efforts.
Patience and consistency reign supreme.
